Three men arrive in heaven all around the same time. St. Peter sees the three men and proceeds to explain to them that Heaven is becoming very full, and they can only allow 1 out of every 3 people into heaven. So to choose which guy out of three that gets into heaven, St. Peter decides to let the person who had the worst death in. Peter takes the first guy aside and he begins to tell his story:
"Well Peter I had been having a very rough week. I have been suspecting that my wife has been cheating on me for a long time, so one day I left work early to catch her in the act. When I got home, sure enough there was my wife in bed naked, but the bastard wasn't in bed with her. I searched the entire house when I finally found the prick dangling outside my back balcony. I lived on the 8th story, so I started stomping the guys fingers trying to get him to fall off, but the asshole wouldn't fall. I went back into my room and got a hammer and smashed his fingers again. finally the guy fell off and landed in a big pile of bushes, but the bastard was still alive! I went and unplugged my refrigerator, threw it off the balcony, and finally killed the guy. After that though I felt so bad that I went into the back room and shot myself."
St. Peter agrees that this is definitely an unfortunate way to die, but goes on to the second guy;
"Well Peter, I had just bought this book on Yoga and decided to give it a try. I went back home to my tenth story apartment and preceded to try this new book, when I lost my balance and fell out the window. Luckily I grabbed onto a balcony two stories down, when out of nowhere some guy starts stomping on my fingers! Thank God i held on, and when he left I tried to pull myself up, but then he comes out with a hammer and breaks my hands! I couldn't hold on any longer and fell 8 stories down. Luckily there were bushes to break my fall and I only had broken bones and was lucky to be alive. the last thing i remember however is a giant refrigerator landing on me and killing me."
Once again St. Peter agrees that this is a horrible way to die, yet he goes onto the third guy:
"Alright Peter picture this. You're bare ass naked inside of a refrigerator..."