Tuesday, October 27, 2009

ButteryAss Joke

A store that sells husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow!' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous , Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are fucking impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

EDIT: Shoes for sale

-Nike SB Vamps Size 9 : $20
-Vans sk8 hi blk/white checkered: $10
-Coach lowtop black: $20

more to come. get at me if you want em

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

This was too funny. I had to post it.

Three white girls are sitting at a bar talking about sex when a HUGE black man walks in the door.

One girl gets the courage to get up and walks over to the black guy, "Could you please come in the ladies room with me!". "'scuse me?" said the black man. "Well my girlfriends and I want to see if it's true what they say about black men". "Ok" he said.

So he followed her into the ladies room; raped her, beat her up, and stole her purse.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Coming Soon!!!


Date will come soon. I'll let twitter know.

Monday, October 5, 2009

One more joke

Doug wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office....

But she was dating someone else.

One day Doug got so frustrated that he went to her and said I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you...

The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO!'

Doug said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.

So she called him and explained the situation. Her boy friend says, 'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down.'

She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call.

Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, 'What happened...?' Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, 'The bastard had all quarters!'