Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Bleh.

-Stuck at home
-No car
-Unemployed

I'm probably going to cut my hair. Makes me sad.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Saturday, August 14, 2010

This is a good one. Oh those peanuts.

This guy walks into an empty bar, just him and the bartender, and orders a drink.

The bartender gets one for him, and walks back to wash glasses.

A few minutes later the guy hears a voice, "I really like your haircut". The guy looks around, but doesn't see anyone.

A few minutes after that he hears "That's a great tie you're wearing. You'll go places looking like that".

He spins around 360 degree, and it is just him and the bartender in the place.

So, he yells at the bartender "Did you say anything to me?", the bartender says "No. Why?"

The guy says "Well, first I heard somebody say they liked my hair, and then they said they liked my tie" and then the bartender says "Oh, that's the peanuts in the bowl next to you".

The guy says,"The peanuts in the bowl said it?" and the bartender says "Yeah, they're complimentary"

Friday, August 6, 2010

Oh, that nun. lol

A nun, badly in need of a toilet, ventured into a pub to seek relief.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off, then the place erupted into cheers. However, when the revellers saw the nun, the place went dead silent.

Going up to bar, she asked if she use their facilities. The Landlord said, "Okay, yes, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun, before going to the toilet.

After a few minutes, she came back out and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause.

Going to the landlord, she said, "Thank you, but I don't understand why everyone applauded me for, just because I went to the toilet."

"Well, now they know you're one of us," he replied. "Would you like a drink?"

"But I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," he laughed, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."